Endgame Oneshot
by scottiegal2012
Summary: The Endgame AU - Admiral Janeway has returned her ship home and is now facing the death of her dearest friend.


Endgame One Shot

I've always thought about the last moments between the Admiral and her former first officer. The Endgame AU before the Admiral began plotting a time alteration.

Author's Note: I'm a sucker for J/C however I like to keep in canon as much as Trekly possible. So there's C/7 indicated.

K+

The newly promoted Admiral Kathryn Janeway stood staring out the massive window in her apartment. She didn't know what to do. Chakotay was sick, gravely so and the Doctor expected him not to live. He'd been calling her for hours, but she just let the light on the small personal console blink. She couldn't face this, not yet.

Closing her eyes she clutched her tea cup close to her chest. Remembering.

_Chakotay burst through the door to Kathryn's private quarters. "They found her shuttle! No life signs! I HAVE to go down there!"_

_Kathryn had just managed to fall asleep, having been on the Bridge with Chakotay for the past 36 hours, waiting out the search for the missing away team. She bolted out of bed, wrapping her silken pink robe around her and grabbed his shoulders to steady him. He was ready to collapse. _

_As he slid to the floor, Kathryn going with him, he heard her call up to the Bridge. "_Two to beam down."

_She followed him, barefooted and hurrying to keep up with him as he followed the tricorder's indication of where the shuttle was. The ion storm above them was frightening, but it was nothing to what they were to find._

_They burst through thick underbrush and found Samantha Wildman running a neural scanner over Seven's temple. She looked up, tears in her eyes. "We're losing her, Commander."_

_He dropped to his knees and pulled Seven's limp body into his arms, forcing Kathryn to remember when he'd done that with her own body almost 20 years before. But this was more than the lover he couldn't have… this was his _wife_._

_The deep depression that slammed her first officer from that moment was more than Kathryn could bear, although she understood. She faced the same when she lost her father and fiancé on that damned ice planet. Still, she was the best friend she could be. She waited long moments in a darkened corridor for him to simply answer the door, she sat beside him on the Bridge as he attempted to work through the pain, she walked to Sickbay with him so he could get his regular antidepressant treatments, and she watched the pain on his face as they got home to loved ones while he had nothing. All the while, Kathryn was there for him._

Now she couldn't handle it. She couldn't watch the love of her life die. And she couldn't do it knowing she'd never tell him how she felt. She couldn't tell him. He didn't need that kind of pain too. He needed a friend, not a forsaken lover.

"Admiral!"

She spun at the angry voice, dropping her tea cup as she did. "Doctor, what the hell are you doing here!"

"I had to, he's asking for you." The Doctor was unapologetic in his explanation, and rather angry she surmised.

She dropped her head and rubbed her temple with two fingers. "I can't do this." She felt small and helpless in her confession.

"With all due respect, Admiral, you don't have a choice." He grabbed her arm and called back to the Medical building for transport.

They materialized in a small private waiting room. The Paris family was there, as well as Harry and his wife, Samantha and Naomi. Even Tuvok, whose illness was beginning to give him great difficulty, was there offering all the support he could. She hugged each of them before the Doctor hurried her through to the room he was in.

Chakotay's body was thin, frail looking and pale. She could see the veins in his hands and arms and his vital signs were beginning to fade. Still he opened his eyes and stared at her, almost through her. "Kathryn…"

Her heart was pounding in her chest as she reached his bedside and held his weak hand in her strong one. "I'm here, Chakotay." She whispered, tilting her head closer to him.

"I knew he'd go get you." He managed a small chuckle, the first happy sound he'd made since Seven's death a few years before.

Still, it broke her heart. "I don't want to say goodbye." She managed through tears that were now falling down her cheeks.

He ignored it. "Did I cause that?" He reached up and touched the bits of gray starting to appear through her hair.

She nodded and laughed a little. "Yeah… you, Tom… mostly Tom."

He smiled at that. "I'm sorry I've been so down."

"That's what's killing you…" She whispered, the smile vanishing.

"So they tell me. I always believed you could die of a broken heart." He paused and lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I loved her dearly."

Kathryn bit her lip and felt it trembling beneath her teeth. "I know you did, Chakotay. I'm so sorry I sent her."

He simply nodded and let his hand fall away from hers.

She pressed her hand on his chest, feeling the slight flutter of his heart beating not quite right. The tears were falling harder now and she choked back a sob. "Don't leave us, Chakotay… don't leave _me_."

He closed his eyes and smiled softly. "I'll always be with you, Kathryn."

She felt the finality in those words and her voice caught. The beating of his heart stopped beneath her palm and she let her head fall against his chest. "I love you, Chakotay." She remained there for a long time. Not ready to tell the others, not ready to live the rest of her life without him. For the first time since stranding them in the Delta Quadrant, she felt completely alone.

Fin.


End file.
